I A M female sexual anatomy

5 min read.  


Before we get into solving some of the mysteries of the female body it's important to emphasize one more time that although I am offering explanations on how everything "works" in relatable terms, none of it matters if you fail to establish an intimate connection with the female you desire. 

Intimacy involves feelings of emotional closeness and connectivity with another person. Intimate relationships are often characterized by attitudes of mutual trust, caring, and acceptance.


bartholin's glands

Let’s start with the Bartholin glands (also called greater vestibular glands). These are pea-sized glands located slightly below and to the left and right of the opening of the vagina. Discovered by Thomas Bartholin (1616-1680) who was a Danish Physician, mathematician, and theologian.

When a female is aroused her brain sends signals to her Bartholin's Glands to fire.  These glands are part of her lymphatic system which is the body's "clear fluids" like sweat and tears.  The Glands push out a clear slippery fluid as her body's primal response to "get ready" for impending penetration.  This is the case for all land-based mating species regardless of brain development.


Why do you need to know what the Bartholin's Glands are? Because the Bartholin's glands are the indicators that you have found her erogenous zones. The brain being the largest!!! These are the places on her body and in her mind that make her wet. If you want sex and you don't have 6k for a lady's Rolex, then you must learn her erogenous zones. When you learn them she may not know why she feels her glands firing, just that she is turned on. Critical to inspiring intimacy!!! Inspiring intimacy is far more rewarding than asking for it.


To learn what your lover’s erogenous zone are gently bite her collarbone, pinch her nipples gently. or boldly smack her on the ass. After casually insert a finger just a little into the vagina, if you feel she is wet, you have begun discovering the erogenous triggers that will turn her on. Make mental note, the Bartholin's Glands.

As a guy when you feel that ache in your scrotum after seeing or hearing or smelling something erotic it's your erogenous brain sending signals to the male version of the Bartholin's glands called Bulbourethral Glands.

Men are almost exclusively visual and don't require as much stimulation to fire these glands. However, the majority of women especially "Alpha Females" in long-term relationships need a multitude of inspiring stimulation both mental and physical.



the urethral sponge


Men again being highly visual are fascinated when they see a woman "squirt" in porn. Squirting is a real thing. Let me explain in layman's terms what happens when a woman squirts.  


If you notice on the diagram in this section, the urethral sponge is in the top of the vagina, starting at the vaginal opening and running back about the distance to the second knuckle on the average middle finger.  


Like the Bartholin's Glands, the urethral sponge has an involuntary primal response that is triggered. When a woman's brain processes that she is aroused, the urethral sponge fills with a clear fluid(same fluid as tears from the lymphatic system) engorging it within its elastic membrane. The purpose of the sponge is to protect the urethra from being damaged during penetration.  This is an instantaneous and primal response. Think of it as an airbag in a crash. In most women when sex is over the fluid slowly leeches back to the bladder across the membrane of the urethra and goes generally unnoticed. 

Women who know what is happening with their anatomy and can recognize the right moment to bare down a 1/4 to 1/2 cup of fluid will shoot across the membrane and out with sometimes incredible velocity.

This membrane has thousands of nerve endings making the sensation momentarily euphoric for her.  This result is very similar to the male ejaculation as we orgasm through our urethra. Seaman must also cross into the urethra causing the male's euphoria. Squirting is entirely different from the female orgasm which is not as visual.

For more information about squirting, or to learn how to squirt for women with a simple training exercise developed by I A M  ask in the online chat for links and details. 

the g-spot

also called the Gräfenberg spot (for German gynecologist Ernst Gräfenberg), is characterized as an erogenous area of the vagina that, when stimulated, may lead to strong sexual arousal, powerful orgasms, and the potential for female ejaculation.


There are thousands of nerve endings around the urethra—the "pee tube"—but the Creator left one spot unprotected, just beyond where the urethral sponge ends (middle diagram) in the top of the vagina before the bladder. A tiny section of this nerve-dense, extremely sensitive area is exposed to the vaginal canal. When your penis, a toy or curved finger bumps this section it will send shock waves through her. Consistent bumping it at the right pressure and cadence can cause what's called a g-spot orgasm.  Adding clitoral stimulation with your newly proficient tongue while simultaneously bumping the g-spot can cause a very powerful "dual orgasm.”


You can find it on any one of the thousands of diagrams on google. Know where the g-spot is. Since your fingertip won't light up when you find it, you have to rely on her body language to know you touched the right place. A few clues? Her chest might rise with a short gasp. If you place a second finger on or watch her sphincter you will see or feel it clench when the g-spot is touched.

the clitoris

The clitoris is by far the female's number one physical erogenous zone.  All things start with the clitoris.  If you don't know what it is or where it is then google it right now!!  Pause.  Welcome back.  The clitoris is likely her go-to place for masturbation. What is it?  Simply put its part of the vulva, the external portion of the vagina.  Unlike the other spots, we have talked about the clitoris is the most accessible.  If you have been working on your tongue skills and apply light constant pressure to the clitoris with an even cadence you will immediately know by her response.  Same as the penis it's considered "erectile tissue" so that means stimulating it like the penis will cause it to swell or "fill" with blood. This blood flow helps the thousands of nerve endings otherwise slightly dormant come to life.

As mentioned in other sections toys like vibrators used by women as they become adults condition the clitoris for a response. This usually is high levels of arousal leading to at the peak and orgasm.  In the majority of women I've worked with and in my own experience this level of stimulation isn't just desired it's a necessity.  Taking or making the time to achieve mastery level with your tongue (9-13 licks a second) will give you the same result as most toys.  What toys "can't" deliver is the real flesh feel of the human tongue or the body temperature.  Her toys will soon be collecting dust and you will be her favorite toy in the drawer.


Nipples are a key erogenous zone. They are a very intimate and personal part of her body. It's likely it will take time in new relationships to form intimate connections before she will allow you in on the pleasure she can achieve from their stimulation.  All females have nipples of varying degrees of sensitivity.  There are even females who are fully capable of the correct stimulation and having a vaginal orgasm from nipple stimulation only. 


Again, overstimulation can come in only two forms.  A vibrating toy or a I A M mastery level tongue and fingers. Many I A M students have partners who enjoy the variety of orgasms achieved and "Nipplegasms" are certainly one of them.  So what if your partner or mate doesn't have sensitive nipples?  In my experience especially with older women or athletes is that many years of tight bra's and sports bras and lack of sexual activity regarding nipple stimulation cause a decrease in their blood flow.  The sort of you "lose them if you don't use them" theory. 


Some suggestions I offer couples are for her to eat foods that increase blood flow. Purchasing nipple pumps from Amazon and using them to pull a vacuum and expedite blood flow to the nerve endings (great for clitoris too).  I also highly encourage the use of the tongue and fingers in foreplay on a regular basis to restore blood flow to nerve endings.  I've personally had partners go from low sensitivity to full-blown "nipplegasms" in a matter of weeks.  Be subtle and ease into working them as early rough play can be counterproductive or a straight-up annoyance to her. As visual beings, men really need to honor the female nipple with more attention.

the limbic system (surrounds her brain)

I'm not going to confuse you with even a single clinical description because although it's the most important part of the whole intimacy picture it is better that you learn from experience than reading and applying.  If you have been a good student and doing the work then the knowledge and skills you now have will allow the flood gates to open on the limbic system. In short, both men and women have a limbic system surrounding the brain.  Hers is deeper than ours.  She relies on hers far more than we do.  The limbic system influences emotional response and other human or primal characteristics relating to care for offspring, sexual desires, fight or flight response, and several others.  What I feel is critical for I  A M students know is to recognize that we are different in a very complex way.  There is no changing this. Nothing you can learn from here or elsewhere can alter how we are programmed.  Those who try to fight it or don't embrace the difference will always face an uphill battle.

The easiest way I've found to explain is this.

When your wife or girlfriend says "I'm cold".

The typical male shallow limbic response is "Get a coat!"

Men tend to want to "fix" it and move on.

What "she" would prefer to hear goes more like;

"Aww babe have you been getting enough iron?"

"Let me grab you a fleece blanket."

"You have been getting cold a lot lately, maybe we should have you

checked out."

"I'll get the stove fired up and make you some tea."

These are all the sorts of deep limbic responses that you would expect from your mother right?  If you absorb nothing else from this section please make this correlation.

Intimacy is one more time:

"Intimacy involves feelings of emotional closeness and connectivity with another person. Intimate relationships are often characterized by attitudes of mutual trust, caring, and acceptance."

As men, we tend to go with the first response and it comes across not as "caring and acceptance" rather the opposite.  So pause before you offer a response and think just for a second how changing that relates to building your core intimacy. 

p-spot (sometimes called "a" spot)

The P-spot was officially discovered in 1997 by a Malaysian doctor named Chue Chee Ann in a self-funded study.  See the diagram (below on mobile). The p-spot can be hit or miss because of its close proximity to the cervix.  It's most easily reached from the doggy position and when fully erect.  Depending on penis size and her physical size or length of the vaginal canal will determine results.  Same as the g-spot its located on the front or top wall of the vagina under the belly button or just a little deeper.  Bumping of the p-spot can cause one of the most euphoric orgasms for her and is aside from a toy the only 100% penile dependent orgasm women have.  So this is mostly all you give.  Bumping or pounding of the cervix can be not pleasurable for her or you if she is using certain contraceptive devices placed there.  So pay close attention to her breathing and body language when attempting p-spot stimulation.


Here are some other terms to Google on your own for more information:


EXTERNAL: (top to bottom)

Clinical Term:                  Layman Term:

The prepuce of clitoris              Clit Hood

Glans of clitoris                  Clit

Meatus                                 pee hole                                        

Labium                                vaginal lips

Bartholins Gland                lube ducts

Perineal raphe                    Taint


Medical Term:                     Layman:

Grafenberg Spot                  G-spot

Urethral Sponge                  The Worm

Posterior Fornix                  P-spot


bartholin's glands

Urethral Sponge


limbic system
Answer Key Practice Quiz: d,c,a,a,a,a,c,d,d